Spring

Trees in bud
Streams in flood
Air smells fresh
Baring flesh
Flowers busting
Increased lusting
Birds a-tweeting
Couples meeting
Ooh Spring
What a zing!



Lost Weekend

I hope you had a good time
I hope you had a ball
I can't remember if I did
I guess that says it all
So here I am on Monday
All business once again
Apart from quite a headache
And a nasty stomach pain



Growing Old Gracefully (Not)

If I choose myself a rappers name that's just for me
I think I'll go traditional and choose KayBee
I could go for something different, like perhaps KayBrr
But I'd sound just like a Wookie or a strange cat's purr
If I'm east coast or I'm west coast I don't care a lot
Just as long as they don't dis me for the words I got
So I'll wear a pair of trousers that are huge and long
Put together somethin' wicked on some cool house song
But then again, Puff Mummy might just suit me more
And with my daughter's friends, think of the points I'll score



Fish

On days like this I truly wish
I was a silver swimming fish
Submerged in waters I could breathe
Not stuck in crowds that sweat and seethe
Although I'd swim both far and near
My porpoise would be very clear
To gyre and gimbal in the wave
And never fret how I behave
I wish I wish I was a fish
All fried in batter on a dish
Though I might get a lemon pip
At least I would have had my chips



Kept in Touch

He tried the buzz, the beep, the purr
Everything to talk to her
The cutesy tune, the marching band
He wanted to be held in her hand
He text her messages short and long
Accompanied by electric song
She would not look, to play phone tag
She left the handset in her bag
He found the secret far too late
She only wanted it to vibrate



Accident

She's an accident waiting to happen
While she sips on her drink at the bar
With the wine in her glass disappearing
She'll soon be outside in his car
Yes you're right, it's a tale full of terror
To escape he had better be quick
For with all of that booze in her belly
In a minute she's going to be sick



Bandana

Ana 1 ana 2 ana 3 ana 4 ana
Here comes the man and he wears a red bandana
Tattoos of love and hate drawn on his hand ana
Loves heavy music and plays in a band ana
Lives in a house with a big plot of land ana
Got big old walls just to keep out the fans ana
Loves it

Ana 1 ana 2 ana 3 ana 4 ana
Here comes the man whose last album was canned ana
Looks haven't lasted as long as he planned ana
Stomach's exploding above the waistband ana
Never is recognised where he was banned ana
Lost all his hair so he wears a red bandana
Lost it



Gadgets

I am in gadget heaven
It's an awful lot of fun
I spend hours with them tinkering
And getting nothing done
For I need to understand just how
This widget works and why
And by the time I've found this out
Four hours have gone by
Now some may think this time well spent
Some think it is a waste
But once a week it's great to have
The fun without the haste
So I enjoy my hobbies
While I lose all track of time
Making all I can of Sunday
In the space that is all mine



Schizophrenia

Well, yes I have a lot of internal dialogue
but then, so does everyone
don't they?

Hello?

P.S. I was in two minds about including this one



The Queen in the River

The headline of the paper, well it told a tale of dread
'The Queen in River - Rescue' was just what the billboard said
So a most peculiar picture floated into my poor head
Of the scene upon the river and how our Queen's so well bred
For the Queen is in the water, gently bobbing up and down
She is wearing a tiara and a long and lovely gown
While her hand is in the air, clad properly in a white glove
She is waving it most decorously as folk look from above
While they're calling down to find out if she's asking to be saved
'One is not waving but drowning' is the comment that she made



Playing Tag

When I was but a young wild lad
I used to play a game of tag
Instead of going out to play
I'd scribble with a can of spray
But now at last that I am grown
I am ashamed, of that I'll own
I left a mess, and this as well
I realise I could not spell



Mission Improbable

My mission, if I should accept it
Was set on a tape and I kept it
With no auto destruct
In my waistband it's tucked
Where enemies can't intercept it

You may wonder why it's not burned up
By heat which in seconds is turned up
To immediate fire
So their words are a pyre
Merely dust which by wind is soon churned up

Well in my case they made an exception
Skilled though I am in arts of deception
For my memory's bad
For instructions I've had
At least that seems to be their perception

For I've turned up sometimes at the wrong place
Well disguised in entirely the wrong face
I've completed my task
When removing my mask
Find that I've infiltrated the wrong base

I'm afraid that my lack of attention
Has produced some results I'll not mention
Now the tape I can check
So their plans I'll not wreck
And impossibly add to the tension




Strange

Tried to take off the sock on my right hand
Then remembered it was on my foot
When I tried to collect my left luggage
Found it was on the right it was put
Thought more fun might be had as the top dog
But the underdog gets all the love
And although I've been under the weather
It's this mood I'll be rising above



Daytimes

Daytimes at home pass swiftly by
My pace is slower but time flies
Not long from breakfast time til lunch
I fill the hours between each munch
With viewing films and reading books
Just watching how the weather looks
While all those chores I meant to do?
Undone, while I admire the view
With writing this, my strength is sapped
I'm ready for my daily nap
I will soon write another rhyme
But only if I find the time



Peace

My daughter I'll be pleased to see
When she comes home to visit me
And when my son comes home from school
I'm glad he's with me as a rule
But recently I do confess
My mind was an unholy mess
And what I needed for release
Was several hours of total peace
The builders clanged, the cars drove by
While overhead the planes did fly
So for the space to contemplate
It seems I'd have to relocate
So off I went into the park
Where lots of rowdy dogs did bark
Could not control the constant noise
The only way was with my toys
I fled, the only place to go
Was in my personal stereo



Mail Order

With many women, it's the norm
To like a man in uniform
Perhaps a fireman or a soldier
Have a look that is much bolder
But if their preference be addressed
A postman may just be the best
For meeting soldiers is quite tough
Their situations are too rough
While firemen often are too hot
For you to get to meet a lot
But here is how to get to meet
A postman, so your day's complete
Just take an envelope and stamp
Affix the latter while it's damp
Then write your name and address on
So it will find you once its gone
Go to the post box, drop it in
And this is where the fun begins
For by mail order you'll receive
A postman - if you don't believe
Just try it and you'll find next day
Upon your doorstep, down your way
A service that's for rich or poor
A genuine postman at your door



---Painting---

It spoke to me, that picture
Though I hadn't any cash
In my mind the image lingered
I had loved it in a flash
So I buttered up my credit card
I went back to the stall
It is hanging in my room now
And I'm standing ten feet tall