Cleaning

Now, I'm moderately keen
That each room should be quite clean
But I'm not so much obsessed
That I never get a rest
A woman's work is never done
So I make some time for fun
Then, last week, why all the fluster?
Whizzing round with my new duster
Why's it more than any other
I try to impress my mother?
Pocket money won't be busted
If she finds where I've not dusted
She herself is not perfection
Not here for a house inspection
No, I'm being really daft
Acting like twelve-and-a-half
I'll not do it any more
Just as soon as I've washed this floor



The Mighty Oak

I love to garden, love to grow
The shrubs I plant, the seeds I sow
But since my house is in a town
I do not have extensive grounds
And recently it has been choked
By next door's great and mighty oak
They planted it not long ago
But it's amazing how they grow
So this week, though I love all trees
We asked our neighbour, could we please
Save house and garden, chop it down
Let light and water in all round
Our friends brought chainsaws, it is done
I think the boys had lots of fun
With branches flying, chips did rain
My garden was a wood-filled plain
But though the tree has gone at last
I fear the work has killed my grass



Frog Kidnap

My son and husband, busy bees
Now not content with felling trees
Have dug a hole quite deep and round
Where fishes one day will be found
It needs more work, needs pumps and plants
A fountain to make water dance
But now it is with water filled
When we looked in we were quite thrilled
To find a frog had moved right in
But now it seems that we have sinned
For our good neighbour came around
Protesting at the friend we found
For of this frog he was quite fond
It used to live inside his pond
And now it's moved, he wants it back
He feels its loss, he feels the lack
So off he went, and took the frog
He took him back home at a jog
But next day when we looked we learned
His wandering frog to us returned
So while this kidnap we regret
Of what, it seems, is his own pet
While we are agile and quite tall
It was the frog that hopped the wall



For Lawn

Tried to feed my lawn
Now I'm all forlorn
Scattered stuff like corn
Just put too much on
Came a bright new dawn
Found my lawn was gawn



Washing I

My washing machine's broken down
The drum just won't turn round and round
I cannot get the thing to drain
It really is a major pain
It will not wash, it will not dry
I have returned to days gone by
I'm washing everything by hand
Not the evening I had planned
I haven't done it for so long
Forgot I had to be so strong
Pummelling the socks and shirts
Rubbing collars 'til it hurts
Working out and using muscles
Beats that daily grind and hustle
It all will work out for the best
For while I wash I lose my stress



Washing II

O how I love my old washing machine
I put things in dirty and out they come clean
I just pop them in and fill up with some soap
Then later they reappear fresh as I'd hoped
But first they are drained and they spin and they spin
The clothes come out flat and incredibly thin
This is the best bit - and I'll tell you all why
In an hour or two all my clothes are quite dry
So the floor in the bathroom's not swimming with drips
And, walking across it, no more will I slip
Now washing by hand may be good for the soul
But I'm happier with a machine, on the whole



Invaded

There's ants in the kitchen, all over the floor
I counted up twenty, there's probably more
And inside my sitting room last night, a mouse
I'm starting to feel that this isn't my house
The bathroom's a home for a nasty black bug
A spider was hiding downstairs on a rug
I'm sharing my space with things I can't abide
It's summer - why can't they enjoy the outside?